Funny, but not a positive review. I think the reviewer makes some good points. I think this is the funniest line.
Side note: freeze the video at :15 and tell me she doesn’t look as if she took acting lessons from Dramatic Chipmunk.
.
Commercial Grade: Jennifer Lopez and the Fiat 500
If you watched football Sunday, you probably saw the new Fiat commercial featuring Jennifer Lopez as often as you saw the Detroit Lions score against the Kansas City Chiefs. Which, for those of you who didn’t watch the ineptitude of Haley’s Vomit (not the catchiest nickname, but after being outscored 89-10 through two weeks it is fitting), is a LOT.
Since football watchers are predominantly male, and men are easily excitable and are reduced to their most primal during rough-and-tumble contests such as football, it’s not unreasonable to believe that guys could be influenced by whatever they see in this exaggerated, caveman-like state of mind. For that reason, a commercial with an attractive lady trying to sell a car seems like a perfect spot to run during football games. Watch it, Ben. Your Madden commercials could be next.
Almost everyone can agree that JLO is a beautiful woman. At 41 years old (she’s now 42) she was named People’s “Most Beautiful Person” and she has one of the most famous rear ends in the world.
I’m willing to forgive her for dating Ben Affleck and P. Diddy , although with Affleck’s Madden voice-overs this year, it’s tough to forgive anyone who ever associated with him. Well, unless it’s Boiler Room Ben Affleck, then he can do whatever the **** he wants because Boiler Room Ben Affleck is AWESOME. There is no denying her success, even if its deservedness is questionable. She’s managed to have lucrative movie and music careers despite not really being a great actress or singer. She is considered by many to be a fashion icon, even though she once wore this to the VMAs.
In being selected to lead the judging panel on TV behemoth American Idol, JLO reasserted her dominance in the entertainment industry. Of course, a new album has followed, and it seems like we might be in the midst of JLO’s final run as a legitimate superstar performer. She’ll continue to be hugely famous, but this is probably the last time we’ll see her going all out as a sexy Latin pop star. Maybe she’ll cap it off with another failed marriage to a backup dancer.
So up until Sunday, JLO and I were cool with eachother, at least as far as I was concerned. But what she and Italian automaker Fiat (who owns Maserati and Ferrari) have done has soured my previously neutral opinion of JLO and guaranteed that when I spend half a million bucks on an outlandish sports car, it will **** sure be a Lamborghini.
As the commercial opens, JLO is driving a compact Fiat 500 down a city street with her latest single, “Papi,” playing as the soundtrack. As she drives, men begin to chase after her, but it’s unclear what their intentions are in the event they actually catch her. She and a bank teller (seen at :05) seem to be the only living women in this strange Fiat utopia, and since JLO is the more attractive of the two she is the one being stalked. We see a bunch of men climbing over eachother and running after the car, like a bunch of super-zombies out of 28 Days Later. I’m thinking terrible thoughts about how this all might end.
A few seconds later, a guy jumps on JLO’s windshield and mouths “I love you” to her. Unfortunately, this doesn’t do anything to lessen the creepiness of the situation. In fact, it reinforces my thought that these men are some sort of procreation-starved, living sex zombies in pursuit of the most suitable mate of an extremely limited pool.
(Side note: freeze the video at :15 and tell me she doesn’t look as if she took acting lessons from Dramatic Chipmunk.)
I really feel for the bank teller at this point. Sure, she’s not conventionally beautiful, but I would expect at least one of these fellows to be going after her while all the others chase JLO. It is at this point I really feel depressed about the prospects of living in Fiat utopia and decide that if buying a Fiat 500 brings us anywhere closer to this scenario, then count me out.
For the next several seconds we’re shown more highly functioning guys chasing after her in cars and on ramp-jumping dirt bikes. Then, via text on the screen, we’re told that if we like the car, we should go online, and if we like JLO, we should get in line. Still sounding pretty creepy, huh?
In between those instructional messages JLO comes to a stop and is instantly surrounded by the pursuing mob. They yank her out of the car through the sunroof as I brace for the worst…
… And they break into a choreographed dance sequence as the chorus of “Papi” hits its crescendo! Phew, I was really worried that this was going to turn into a Wes Craven movie. Luckily, it only turned into a really bad music video. Fears soothed, I must point out a couple of things. I know pop music is filled with nonsense lyrics, as the idea is to get people dancing, not enlighten them. We have Rush and Miley Cyrus for that.
As best as I can tell, this song is about dancing with hordes of dudes while loudly proclaiming that you’re faithful to your husband, or “papi.” And can you believe that the lyrics to the chorus are Move your body/Dance for your papi, Rock your body/Dance for your papi? I could have listened to it a million more times (and I probably will, Sunday while watching NFL games) and not been able to decipher that.
Lastly, JLO started out as a professional dancer, so shouldn’t she be good at, um, dancing?
Final Grade: D
Side note: freeze the video at :15 and tell me she doesn’t look as if she took acting lessons from Dramatic Chipmunk.

Commercial Grade: Jennifer Lopez and the Fiat 500
If you watched football Sunday, you probably saw the new Fiat commercial featuring Jennifer Lopez as often as you saw the Detroit Lions score against the Kansas City Chiefs. Which, for those of you who didn’t watch the ineptitude of Haley’s Vomit (not the catchiest nickname, but after being outscored 89-10 through two weeks it is fitting), is a LOT.
Since football watchers are predominantly male, and men are easily excitable and are reduced to their most primal during rough-and-tumble contests such as football, it’s not unreasonable to believe that guys could be influenced by whatever they see in this exaggerated, caveman-like state of mind. For that reason, a commercial with an attractive lady trying to sell a car seems like a perfect spot to run during football games. Watch it, Ben. Your Madden commercials could be next.
Almost everyone can agree that JLO is a beautiful woman. At 41 years old (she’s now 42) she was named People’s “Most Beautiful Person” and she has one of the most famous rear ends in the world.
I’m willing to forgive her for dating Ben Affleck and P. Diddy , although with Affleck’s Madden voice-overs this year, it’s tough to forgive anyone who ever associated with him. Well, unless it’s Boiler Room Ben Affleck, then he can do whatever the **** he wants because Boiler Room Ben Affleck is AWESOME. There is no denying her success, even if its deservedness is questionable. She’s managed to have lucrative movie and music careers despite not really being a great actress or singer. She is considered by many to be a fashion icon, even though she once wore this to the VMAs.
In being selected to lead the judging panel on TV behemoth American Idol, JLO reasserted her dominance in the entertainment industry. Of course, a new album has followed, and it seems like we might be in the midst of JLO’s final run as a legitimate superstar performer. She’ll continue to be hugely famous, but this is probably the last time we’ll see her going all out as a sexy Latin pop star. Maybe she’ll cap it off with another failed marriage to a backup dancer.
So up until Sunday, JLO and I were cool with eachother, at least as far as I was concerned. But what she and Italian automaker Fiat (who owns Maserati and Ferrari) have done has soured my previously neutral opinion of JLO and guaranteed that when I spend half a million bucks on an outlandish sports car, it will **** sure be a Lamborghini.
As the commercial opens, JLO is driving a compact Fiat 500 down a city street with her latest single, “Papi,” playing as the soundtrack. As she drives, men begin to chase after her, but it’s unclear what their intentions are in the event they actually catch her. She and a bank teller (seen at :05) seem to be the only living women in this strange Fiat utopia, and since JLO is the more attractive of the two she is the one being stalked. We see a bunch of men climbing over eachother and running after the car, like a bunch of super-zombies out of 28 Days Later. I’m thinking terrible thoughts about how this all might end.
A few seconds later, a guy jumps on JLO’s windshield and mouths “I love you” to her. Unfortunately, this doesn’t do anything to lessen the creepiness of the situation. In fact, it reinforces my thought that these men are some sort of procreation-starved, living sex zombies in pursuit of the most suitable mate of an extremely limited pool.
(Side note: freeze the video at :15 and tell me she doesn’t look as if she took acting lessons from Dramatic Chipmunk.)
I really feel for the bank teller at this point. Sure, she’s not conventionally beautiful, but I would expect at least one of these fellows to be going after her while all the others chase JLO. It is at this point I really feel depressed about the prospects of living in Fiat utopia and decide that if buying a Fiat 500 brings us anywhere closer to this scenario, then count me out.
For the next several seconds we’re shown more highly functioning guys chasing after her in cars and on ramp-jumping dirt bikes. Then, via text on the screen, we’re told that if we like the car, we should go online, and if we like JLO, we should get in line. Still sounding pretty creepy, huh?
In between those instructional messages JLO comes to a stop and is instantly surrounded by the pursuing mob. They yank her out of the car through the sunroof as I brace for the worst…
… And they break into a choreographed dance sequence as the chorus of “Papi” hits its crescendo! Phew, I was really worried that this was going to turn into a Wes Craven movie. Luckily, it only turned into a really bad music video. Fears soothed, I must point out a couple of things. I know pop music is filled with nonsense lyrics, as the idea is to get people dancing, not enlighten them. We have Rush and Miley Cyrus for that.
As best as I can tell, this song is about dancing with hordes of dudes while loudly proclaiming that you’re faithful to your husband, or “papi.” And can you believe that the lyrics to the chorus are Move your body/Dance for your papi, Rock your body/Dance for your papi? I could have listened to it a million more times (and I probably will, Sunday while watching NFL games) and not been able to decipher that.
Lastly, JLO started out as a professional dancer, so shouldn’t she be good at, um, dancing?
